How to find Hope through seasons of pain.

I have been quiet. I have been silent. I have been busy with a few things, but in the times that I have had to myself, I have been still.

Not because I wanted to. But because I needed to.

I was down.

Life hit me hard in the last week.

I live with type 1 diabetes, and for those who aren’t aware of this dreaded chronic illness, it’s a constant chasing of my blood sugar levels. To stay in range all day everyday takes a huge amount of effort on the person living with it.

I am mostly strong, and positive.

I am mostly hopeful.

I am mostly all of that, most of the time.

But last week was different. I found myself defeated. I found myself in the deep trenches of pain again, feeling angry, sad, and frustrated. I was mostly not happy.

This was the last 5 days. My days were a drag. I gave up. I didn’t want to do any of this again, anymore.


He spoke into my heart….

‘ I am making new wine’.

This song by Hillsong Worship came into my heart two days ago, while I questioned all that life has thrown at me. The never ending reminder of an undercurrent of pain, the constant battle to do it ‘perfectly’. There is no perfect in the world of this chronic illness. There is only my best. I can only do my best. But this song reminded me that through every crushing and every pain, there is a making of new wine. There is breaking of new ground. There is a new shaping and moulding going on, in my faith life, in my personal character, and in my trust in Him.

I will never understand what He will do with my story; maybe I will in the future, but while I am going through this season of pain, maybe He will use me to speak new life into others. I need to trust Him. What good is it only trusting Him in the good times and not in the times of trial?

I am writing this as I am surfacing the deep waters, with tears rolling down my cheeks, I am filled with Hope!

Maybe you are in a difficult season of an illness, or caring for someone in that season. Or maybe you are a mother going through a challenging time with your child or chilren. Maybe you are a woman broken and hurt by those you have loved and trusted most. Maybe you are a friend who feels betrayed and let down. Whatever season of pain you might be facing, I wan to hold your hand and tell you this.

You may be down, but you are not defeated!

You cannot be defeated because He has you in the palm of His hands. He is holding you even when you think you are drowning. He created you with His perfect intention. His perfect design will never diminish even with each trial you go through. No. Your destination does not change even when you feel your course is detoured. He knows the beginning from the end. But you must TRUST Him.

I want to share with you this….His love and mercy is new every day. Even when you cannot see or feel Him, know that He is there with you. He is making something new out of you, He is moulding you to His perfect will, He is using your story to bring Hope to another life, He is making something new, like only He can. Nothing that you are going through is a waste.

‘Where there is new wine, there is new power, there is new freedom’ – New Wine by Hillsong Workship

Let Him….Let Him make new wine out of your life.

So let’ exchange our mourning for Joy. Let me encourage you to put your Trust and Hope pin Him. He will get you up again, just like He did for me two days ago.

‘Listen carefully, I am about to do a new thing. Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even put a road in the wilderness, Rivers in the dessert.’ (Isaiah 43:13)

with love, Monica xx

Monica is a mother of two, a wife, a doctor and a life coach who is passionate about seeing women in meaningful community with one another, pursuing God and the purpose he’s instilled in them. 

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