How to stay the course in the middle of the storm?

It’s February already.

You had big dreams for this year. You had it all written down, planned out. You spoke about it. You told your loved ones!

Have you? I have.

I told my husband my big dreams for the year. I laid it all down. It took a lot out of me because for so many years I didn’t know what I wanted for myself. I was confused, I was anxious, I wasn’t so sure if my next step was the right or wrong one. 

By now you are probably wondering what big dreams I had and was so confused about?

This. About leaving my medical job. YES! You heard me right. About leaving my medical career of 12 years. That job I trained so long for. Was I happy in my medical job? Yes, I was, for about ten years. But after that, not so. I had other desires stirring in my heart. I tried to ignore it. But God was nudging me. Little by little.

I got my qualifications to be a life coach a year ago. I coached women, helped and guided them. I coached many young girls, and it was rewarding. I wrote. I authored a coaching exercise book. I was moving forward in the right direction. January 2019, I started off with big plans. Just after I verbally informed my husband of this dream to keep writing and coaching as opposed to going back to my medical job, all hell broke loose!

You know that saying, ‘when it rains, it pours?’

It pretty much felt like that.

My health took a turn for the worse. I live with type 1 diabetes, but that’s a story for another post. It is rough and demanding! My health needed more attention and that I managed to get under control pretty quickly. But my mental health? That was a whole different story! 

You see when I was diagnosed with this chronic illness almost five years ago, I went through a period of sadness, anger and bitterness. I felt like my world came crushing down all at once. But I picked myself up and got it all back on track. I was determined.

But last month was different! It was mentally draining. It kept me in a space of self pity and self doubt. I was doubtful I was going to get myself together again. I was doubtful my health will not suffer through the years. I wasn’t even sure if I was going to be able to fight this chronic illness again. I was tired. I was in a rut! And I stayed there for a good week. And that was more than I had wanted to for myself. It was a scary time for me. I wasn’t in a good place. 

In that space though, I spent a lot of my waking hours praying. The many hours of negative thought processes were alternated with prayers and worship. 

The truth of His words has always been my go to, but this time I felt I had to hold onto it for dear life. It was my only lifeline! It was the only thing that was going to get me out of that funk! I had to continuously and constantly take my thoughts captive; over and over again! 

One morning as I prayed, I choose to let go of this negative self sabotaging thought process that was clearly taking over my mind. 

I asked Him to take over my mind.

I told Him to let me dwell only on His truth.

I begged Him to only let my mind be filled with His truth.

Over and over again. It was a battle between Gods truth and the lies of the enemy.

I figured it was either I fight this or allow it to consume me. I know God has bigger and better plans for my life and He is not quite finished with me yet!

Dear friends, I write this post because I know how hard it is to speak about our mental health. As mums too, we are coming out of the busy season of school holidays and I know just how much that can take a toll not only on our physical health but also on our mental health. I write this to encourage you to look to Him for strength and grace. He gives it to us freely. In times when we are overwhelmed; instead of moving away from Him, choose to come closer and sit at His feet. He will be there. He will take you through your storms. Sit with Him and be still. Let Him into your life, He already knows it all. Don’t try and do it yourself. Do it with His hand over yours. It’s easier that way.

And guess what? After the rain, comes rainbows….and yours is around the corner too.

Stay the course with Him. It is worthwhile.

Scripture for thought:

‘Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things.’ {Phil 4:8}

 

 

 

with love, Monica xx

Monica is a mother of two, a wife, a doctor and a life coach who is passionate about seeing women in meaningful community with one another, pursuing God and the purpose he’s instilled in them. 

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