Who is that girl?
Dear girl..
Did you just walk past a mirror and caught yourself looking back at you? Who is that girl in the mirror you might ask.
Mumma, did you stand in front of the mirror this morning, looking at your scars and stretch marks staring back at you? A hanging belly, loose skin, maybe?
How do I know what you may be thinking?
Because.. I’ve been there. In fact let me rephrase that. I stopped looking at myself in the mirror because what I saw in the reflection was a little scary, a little off-putting to be honest. The stretct marks, and the hanging pouch that once housed my two babies to term, is now just there.
The external view of something so small like that can play a huge impact on how we feel about ourselves and more than that, make us feel low and poor about ourselves.
When did this all change?
A few weeks ago, my six year old daughter asked me if I would ever have a flat tummy, ever, again! And my reply?
A simple… NO.
She went on to ask, ‘is that ok with you mummy? Don’t you want a flat tummy?’
I sat in silence for a few minutes. I was thinking. I had to process her question to make sure I don’t sound like a negative nancy.
Then this is what she said… ‘it’s so squishy mummy, and thats where I used to sleep and go to toilet in! and it doesn’t matter mum, you are my momma and you are beautiful anyway!’
MOMENT. THAT WAS MY MOMENT.
Our kids can truly teach us so much about ourselves. I was never one to pick and hate on any of my body part, but geez after having our second baby, that has definitely been a struggle. I could even see how not loving my whole body as my WHOLE SELF, was creating a battle in my head between knowing who I am and feeling not good enough!
It sounds bad, I know. But truly that is what happens when we forget the goodness of what has come of the good things. We forget. This was our miracle baby, and in no way am I ungrateful, but what I have been left to show wasn’t what I expected. Or rather, the pressures of society and what the world feels we should look like six weeks after baby, is truly damaging!
And it took my daughter reminding me in that moment what my body has done for me to have my light bulb moment. I know where my identity lies, I know my self worth, but that doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with it. It is a constant battle.
The world vs the truth. Which would you believe? The choice is ours to make.
The world or the truth.
What I also realised was that my daughter is watching me. She is six turning seven and her view of the world is still within my realm of influence. Her idea of a perfect body will come from what she sees, hears, and experiences at home. Daughters who see their mums unhappy about their bodies, would more likely than not grow up feeling inadequate with imperfections.
But, I chose, that day, to stop! To stop hating but to start loving on my body. It has done amazing things. It still does amazing things. And if I can empower another woman, or our young girls, to stare that reflection back in that mirror with pride, then my message is worth sharing.
That girl in the mirror is strength. She is strength. if you still don’t know what strength looks like, stare at that girl in the mirror a little longer; skin and scars.
*Identity and self worth is a huge topic, and this is only a small part of it. To stay connected and to read more on this, and how we can empower our young girls, please connect with us, and subscribe to our newsletter to stay in the loop!
with love, Monica xx
Monica is a mother of two, a wife, a doctor and a life coach who is passionate about seeing women in meaningful community with one another, pursuing God and the purpose he’s instilled in them.
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